yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
