Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
