i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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