Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
