1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
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