he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
