A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
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