I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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