I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
