I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Randomize
