the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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