and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
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