I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
