He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
