remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
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