when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
