how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
