I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
