Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Randomize
