A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Randomize
