Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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