I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
