if only i could text you this smell
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Randomize
