Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I stole a fireplace last night.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
