I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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