If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
