margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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