There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Randomize
