on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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