Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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