i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
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