I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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