and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Randomize
