So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
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