What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
it wasn't lemon gatorade
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize