so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
We just shotgunned beers for America
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
