It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Randomize
