The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize