felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
