So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
