but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
stop calling my apartment porn island.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Randomize
