Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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