quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
