Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
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