so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
