You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I will be naked everywhere
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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