I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
She even gives head with a lisp.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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