Your dad touched me again.
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
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