We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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