is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Randomize
