I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
should my penis look like a turkey
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
