Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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